In recognition of Autism Awareness Month and the increasing awareness of autism and those on the autistic spectrum, Dr. Catherine Lord is offering families guidance and tips for coping with a child’s autism diagnosis. She is a psychology professor focused on psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine and is a national authority on autism spectrum disorders (ASD). Dr. Lord also directs the Center for Autism and the Developing Brain (CADB) at New York-Presbyterian Hospital. CADB is a collaborative program, bringing together Weill Cornell Medicine and Columbia University Medical Center to work with NEXT for AUTISM to provide families with extensive resources to help with recent diagnoses.
Take a look at some of the advice below to help a loved one to thrive after their diagnosis.
1. Have hope.
Every day, we learn more about how to help people with autism spectrum disorder and discover more about ASD itself. Even in the past decade, the strides that have been made are monumental and there is always more to learn. Life gets better and easier.
2. Remember that your child is an individual.
Your child is first and foremost his or her own unique person. They have their likes and dislikes as well as their own individual personality. Their brain may work a little bit differently than others, but that doesn’t mean it should become the only notable thing about them. They are a person that extends far beyond their condition.
3. Build a strong support system.
Find people you can trust to support you as an individual and then to support you as a parent of a child with autism. Acknowledge that this isn’t easy, and give yourself credit for what you do.
4. Find credible sources and resources in your community.
You will hear many contradictory and unfounded pieces of information. Stand up for what you think are the needs of your child. Find professionals whom you trust and resources you believe in. Don’t be afraid to ask. Other parents can be important sources of information, but every child with ASD is different. Joining autism support groups or even finding blogs and resources online can be incredibly helpful.
5. Enjoy each other.
Do things every day that you and your child can enjoy together. While opportunities for learning are important, shared enjoyment is even more important in a family. Life can be tough, so incorporating exciting, enjoyable activities for the whole family can be critical.
6. Set attainable goals.
Set small, reasonable goals for your child and figure out how to accomplish these goals. Have ideas for next steps that aren’t miles down the road. For most with autism, they thrive on routine and structure, so these small accomplishments can be great, achievable milestones.
7. Make time for your partner.
Set aside time, even just a few minutes, to focus on each other, not the child. You are still a couple and still a family, so setting aside even an hour for the two of you to have some time alone can be so freeing. Make sure to ask and listen to each other’s needs and perspectives as you consider what is best for you both and for your child.
8. Be involved.
Children with ASD who have families that devote time to learning and playing with them show more improvements than families who are less involved. Just because your child’s brain works a little differently than yours or your other children’s doesn’t mean they won’t make meaningful connections.
9. Have reasonable expectations for your child’s behavior.
Do not let your child do things that you would not let another child of the same age do, such as biting people or climbing on counters. Do not punish, but interrupt quickly, and redirect, offering a distraction and/or an explanation. Offering any child an explanation for why certain behavior isn’t acceptable or appropriate in certain situations can improve their understanding of the world, their actions, and other people’s behavior.
10. Build on your child’s and your family’s strengths.
Help your child find things she or he loves and use that passion to build experience and/or skills. If your family is passionate about something as a group like music, sports or travel, find a niche for your child in that interest. This niche interest can help them learn other concepts as well, such as in school, getting them a book focused on their special interest can help improve their reading level.
Keep these tips in mind, and be sure to research other useful resources to help you, your family, and your child with ASD thrive.
Resources:
Helping People & Families With Autism – NEXT For AUTISM
Center for Autism & the Developing Brain – Psychiatry | NewYork-Presbyterian (nyp.org)
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