Dementia and the Holidays: How Caregivers Can Navigate the Season |

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While the holidays mark a time of joy and celebration, they also come with stress and challenges, especially for caregivers of loved ones with dementia. A traditional holiday gathering may be fraught with uncertainties and risks. Questions about how extended family gatherings and events will impact your loved one may be circling your head. The unknowns may feel overwhelming for caregivers during the holidays. It’s important for caregivers to learn how to navigate the holiday season with low stress and pressure.

Why are the holidays challenging for dementia caregivers?

During the holiday season, caregivers face unique demands and obstacles. People with dementia often find routines and familiarity to best serve their peace of mind and ability to live life. Less familiar faces, places, and changes to routine can be disturbing and upsetting for those with dementia. Symptoms, especially behavioral symptoms, may escalate during the holidays, increasing their confusion and distress.

Because of the close relationship to the person with dementia, the need for a familiar location, and the burden to update relatives and friends of the person’s state, a heavy load falls on caregivers during the holidays. They may feel pressured to host gatherings, so that the person with dementia can remain in a safe, familiar place. They must pay close attention to the signals and signs of their loved one, recognizing when they may need a change to help them calm themselves and feel safe. To help prepare guests, caregivers may also need to spend a good deal of time and energy working to accustom both guests and the person with dementia with each other. All this adds up to a great deal of additional stress. The holidays can be a difficult season for dementia caregivers to navigate. These tips can help dementia caregivers handle the holidays.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself.

Research shows a unique correlation between the symptoms of a person with dementia and the health of their caregiver. As the disease progresses, especially as symptoms of paranoia, aggression, or hallucinations increase, the caregiver’s health declines. The stress of long-term care and witnessing the changes in a loved one takes a toll. Caregivers of loved ones with dementia face higher levels of stress and lower mental health than caregivers of loved ones with other health concerns. They also have higher rates of high blood pressure, chronic inflammation, and chronic stress. Long term, these factors can affect the dementia caregiver’s ability to care for their loved ones, sometimes leading to crumbling relationships or even abuse. Research shows that counseling, therapy, and community education programs can help alleviate and manage the stress from caring for your loved one with dementia. While the holiday season may not be the time to begin a long-term plan for your support, there are steps to take now.

Take time for things you enjoy this holiday season.

Allow yourself to do activities that you always look forward to during the holiday season. Maybe this means attending a holiday concert or parade. Perhaps going shopping for gifts brings you joy. Or a traditional practice is important to you this holiday season. You should not feel guilty for taking a little time to enjoy yourself this holiday season.
Practice meditation and mindfulness.

A positive mindset can be helpful in navigating the holiday season while caring for someone with dementia. This mindset isn’t conjured out of thin air. Rather, spend some time daily or weekly to meditate on what you are grateful for, to practice yoga, or to use breathing exercises to build calm into your life. These types of exercises show promise for alleviating stress and helping to cope with the demands of the care you provide. You may need help from a professional to develop these practices into habits, so don’t give up if you don’t see immediate results.

It may seem selfish to focus any time on yourself this holiday season. While your loved one needs your time and attention, too, taking care of yourself will help them, as well. Your better health trickles down to better care for your loved one in the end, so remember to look after yourself this holiday season.

Preparation and Pattern for Your Loved One

As you look to the holidays, make sure you have a plan in place for making the season enjoyable for your loved one with dementia. While it may be tempting to isolate or to try to continue without any changes, both of these plans will most likely end poorly for you and your family. Instead consider these helpful tips to keep the holiday enjoyable.

Include your loved one.

A few familiar faces and traditional practices can boost your loved one’s mental health and quality of life. Long term memory usually stays intact the longest, so consider what traditions have been carried on throughout your loved one’s life. You can find ways to include them in a traditional recipe or trip down memory lane through a photobook. Music and dancing are also fun ways to include your loved one in the occasion. Pushing participation is unlikely to be helpful, so allow for simple observation if that is what your loved one feels capable of. Remembering to include them in conversation and activities without pressuring them to go beyond their ability may help them feel your love this holiday season.
Downsize and simplify.

Your loved one will most likely feel overwhelmed with a large gathering full of unfamiliar faces. Add an unfamiliar location, and things may get out of hand quickly. Instead, consider holding a small gathering at your loved one’s home. Invite only a handful of guests and work to familiarize your loved one with their voices and faces before the gathering. Get help with as much as you can, outsourcing the menu to family, friends, or a local restaurant. A lot of decorations and change to your loved one’s home will only increase confusion and stress, so keep the décor sparse. A few familiar decorations may help your loved one reminisce over past holidays, so use your best judgment. A smaller, simpler gathering will allow celebration without overloading you and your loved one.
Have a backup plan.

The best laid plans may fail. It is important to have a backup plan for you and your loved one. Have a quiet place ready if your loved one needs a break from the activity. Make sure you are aware of signs that show your loved one is feeling overwhelmed or experiencing a symptom such as paranoia or aggression. Inform others of things to look for, as well, so the burden of monitoring does not fall entirely on you.
Communicate with guests.

It’s a good idea to let those attending your holiday gathering know what to expect. Many do not understand what dementia may mean for the state of your loved one. Letting guests know of potential lapses in memory and behavior will help your holiday gathering run more smoothly. It will also help to ensure guests are ready to engage with and include your loved one if they know what to expect.

The holidays may feel overwhelming if you are a caregiver for a loved one with dementia. You already carry extra responsibility, and the holiday season will add to that load. You may also be worried about how your loved one will respond to holiday gatherings and festivities. These tips can help you navigate the holiday season.